Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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