I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
