Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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