but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
After tacos, we're chasing women.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
