I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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