She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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