You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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