i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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