Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
