Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I touched a dick in church today
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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