Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
