who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
