Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
