Quick, to the slutcave!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize
