You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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