girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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