and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Well I just put wine in my tea
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize