I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
