On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
