Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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