Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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