Duck Duck Cougar?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
