I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
