Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
