Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
