Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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