grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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