Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
