I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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