great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
