I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
