drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so let's talk penis.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
