it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Too much gin, very little bucket
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
