you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
