Where did you get a picture of my penis
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
