The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
