then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we're so committed to being not committed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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