Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
