marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
