That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's the barista slut.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
