ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize