It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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