Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
