I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
