Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
whose parrot is this?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
