i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
