mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
