Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
All the doctor said was why
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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