yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
