i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
