Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My vagina just recognized that song.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize