its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
