there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
