Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I think I just sharted jello shots
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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