remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize