it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I looked at my own cervix.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
