All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
