If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
