i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
