I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
