But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
