i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
