Yo dont text me then not text me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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