We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I love you. Go after that dick
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize