12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
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