i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
