It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
