we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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