god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
