I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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