how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
