Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
