i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I smell like Dick and happiness
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
